1 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:08,590 Hey. Hey. 2 00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:10,090 What are you doing? 3 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:12,600 Making a photo album of our first year together. 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,100 Look. Here's you and me and Brian and Casey 5 00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,600 on our wedding day. 6 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,600 And here's you and me and Brian and Casey 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,600 just after the honeymoon. 8 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,610 And here's you and Brian and Casey 9 00:00:22,610 --> 00:00:24,610 carrying me over the threshold. 10 00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,610 What are you doing? 11 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,110 That's it. 12 00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:30,110 I am not going through another year 13 00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:32,120 without a picture of us alone. 14 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,620 Good. 15 00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:34,620 Okay, you ready? 16 00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,120 Here we go. (camera beeping) 17 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,620 Smile. 18 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,120 Oh, hey, look, they're taking a picture! 19 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,120 Come on. Hey! 20 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,120 No, wait. Here we go. 21 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,130 We're just getting this one... 22 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,130 No! No! No! 23 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,640 Roy. 24 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,640 Hmm? 25 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,640 Have you tried cyber-dating yet? 26 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,150 I'm thinking of answering this ad. 27 00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,150 "Six foot, two, athletic doctor 28 00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:07,150 seeks loving, affectionate mate." 29 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,650 Let me translate that for you, Cochran. 30 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:10,650 "Six foot, two..." 31 00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:15,660 That means five foot, five in lifts. 32 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,660 "Athletic doctor..." 33 00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,660 Flabby shut-in. 34 00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:22,670 "Seeks loving, affectionate mate..." 35 00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,170 Big-time horn dog. 36 00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:27,170 Roy, you are so cynical. 37 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,170 There are honest people left in the world. 38 00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:34,680 "Dear Dr. Gorgeous... (typing) 39 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:39,680 "I-I-I'm a buff Uma Thurman look-alike... 40 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,190 and I'm ready for my checkup." 41 00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:46,690 Would you forget about it, Brian? 42 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,690 We can't afford it. 43 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,190 But it was the perfect house-- 44 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:51,700 three bedrooms, fireplace, a deck. 45 00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,700 Yeah, way too much money. Let it go. 46 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,200 I can't let it go-- Joe and Helen 47 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,700 want us out of the house by Monday, 48 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,200 but there's no other decent rental on the island. 49 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,700 Would you stop exaggerating? 50 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:03,210 What was wrong with that cute cottage on Meadow Lane? 51 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,210 Nothing. Except we'd have to take care 52 00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:08,210 of the 500-pound woman in the back bedroom. 53 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,710 You're right. That other house is perfect. 54 00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:13,720 I mean, flower boxes and a porch swing. 55 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,720 A built-in vanity with a day-night dimmer. 56 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,720 Oh, well. You're just a big girl, aren't you? 57 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,230 Hey, everybody. 58 00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,230 It sure is a great day, isn't it? 59 00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:25,730 Yeah. What's so great about it? 60 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:28,730 Oh, well, the sky is blue, the birds are a-singin', 61 00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:31,230 I'm having sex like a jackrabbit. 62 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,740 (whistles) Wow. 63 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,740 What's that setting you back? 64 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,740 No. No. With my girlfriend Elise. 65 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:43,250 Elise? Is that still going on? 66 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,750 It sure is, baby. 67 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:45,750 You are kidding. 68 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:46,750 I mean, that is just... 69 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,250 Why? Why? Why is it so hard to believe 70 00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,250 that a beautiful woman like Elise 71 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,260 could fall for a guy like me? 72 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:56,760 Because your last girlfriend was a troll and dumped you. 73 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,260 She wasn't a troll. 74 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,260 She lived under a bridge and had a beard. 75 00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,270 What would you call her? 76 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,770 Well, I don't care what you think. 77 00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:08,270 As I said to Elise this morning 78 00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:10,270 when I woke up at her apartment, 79 00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,780 you know, in her arms in her bed, 80 00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,780 I said, "Boy, we sure had 81 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:17,280 a lot of sex last night, didn't we?" 82 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:18,780 Antonio, 83 00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:20,280 we get it. 84 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,790 You're spending all of your time at Elise's. 85 00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:25,290 Wait a minute. So that means that you're never home, 86 00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:26,290 doesn't it? 87 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,790 Right. And that's because we're having great... 88 00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:31,290 Yeah, I know, I know, I know. 89 00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:33,300 But, uh... 90 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,800 Who looks out for your stuff, huh? 91 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:36,800 Who takes in your mail? 92 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,300 Who waters the plants? 93 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,300 Sounds like you could use some... roommates. 94 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:42,810 Yeah. Roommates. 95 00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:46,310 Well, wh-who would want to move into my place? 96 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,310 I only have room for one bed 97 00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:50,810 and my bathroom is really just a toilet 98 00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:53,320 with a courtesy drape. 99 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,820 Um, what exactly is a courtesy drape? 100 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,320 Uh, actually, I was boasting. 101 00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,320 It's really more of a thin sheet. 102 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,830 When the light hits it a certain way, 103 00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:06,330 you might as well be on stage. 104 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,330 Uh... 105 00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:10,330 anyhoo... 106 00:04:10,330 --> 00:04:11,840 uh, Antonio... 107 00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,340 we have got an extra bedroom 108 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,840 in this great new house we want to rent. 109 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,840 Why don't you just move in with us? 110 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,340 Yeah, it's a great house in a beautiful neighborhood. 111 00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,850 Why don't you come and take a look? 112 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:25,350 Well, I guess it might be nice to live on a street 113 00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:27,850 where a car isn't on fire every night. 114 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,850 What-what's the rent? 115 00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:33,360 Um, 50 bucks less than what you're paying now. 116 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,860 Whew! That, plus what I'd save on rat poison 117 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,860 and gopher bait, 118 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,360 could add up to some serious dough. 119 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,370 So, how do you want to celebrate 120 00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,370 our first night living alone? 121 00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:53,380 I don't know. Let's do something that we couldn't do 122 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,880 when Brian and Casey lived here. 123 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,380 Okay. 124 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,880 I know, let's get in the hot tub. 125 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,880 What's so special about that? 126 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,380 We did that all the time when they were here. 127 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:02,890 Not in the nude. 128 00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:06,390 Naked in the hot tub. 129 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,390 I can get my behind behind that. 130 00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:09,890 Where are you going? 131 00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:11,390 Upstairs to take off my clothes. 132 00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:12,900 Why go upstairs? 133 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,900 There are no designated non-naked areas anymore. 134 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,900 You're right. 135 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:21,400 From now on, it's all nude all the time. 136 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,410 You know, Brian, I have to admit 137 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,910 getting Antonio to move in 138 00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:31,910 was a stroke of genius. 139 00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,920 He's the perfect roommate. 140 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,920 I mean, he's quiet, clean, considerate. 141 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,420 And never, ever here. Huh? 142 00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,420 You know, I was thinking, 143 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,420 we could turn his room into a home gym. 144 00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:42,430 No, no, no. 145 00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:44,430 I've got big plans for that room. 146 00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:46,930 Plans? What plans? 147 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,930 That room's going to be my... 148 00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:51,430 recording studio. 149 00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:53,440 What are you going to record? 150 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,940 Sounds I make. 151 00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,940 CASEY: Antonio? 152 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:03,450 What are you doing here? 153 00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:04,950 What do you mean? 154 00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,450 I live here. 155 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,450 Oh... no, you don't. 156 00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:09,950 You pay rent here. 157 00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:11,450 You live at Elise's. 158 00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:12,960 Not anymore. 159 00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:16,960 She dumped me. 160 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,960 Oh, Antonio, that's terrible. 161 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,960 Now where are you going to live? 162 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,980 Hey, Joe, you want bacon with your eggs? 163 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,990 Helen, what is with that apron? 164 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:44,490 I thought we agreed nude-- nude, totally nude. 165 00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,490 Hey. 166 00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:48,990 Hey, I am not making bacon naked. 167 00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,490 All right, but the second you're done cooking, 168 00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:52,500 that apron comes off. 169 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,500 You don't have to twist my arm. 170 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:55,500 I don't think I was really living 171 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,500 till I was living nude. 172 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,000 Well, think about it. 173 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,500 If it wasn't for Brian and Casey, 174 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:03,510 we'd still be trapped in our clothes, living the lie. 175 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:06,010 You know, we should really look into one 176 00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:08,010 of those colonies for our next vacation. 177 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,010 They're all over the place. 178 00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:12,010 Oh, okay, where would you like to go? 179 00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:15,520 I wouldn't mind being nude in Europe. 180 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,520 Wait a minute, Joe, 181 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,020 I don't mean to be a flag waver, but... 182 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,020 see America nude first. 183 00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,020 (doorbell chimes) 184 00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,020 I'll get it. 185 00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,030 Oh. 186 00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:32,040 Hey. Hey, guys, what can I do for you? 187 00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:33,540 Hey, we live in the neighborhood. 188 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,540 I'm Spencer. This is Judd. 189 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,040 Uh, Joe, maybe the boys 190 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,540 could come back later. 191 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:41,040 Yeah, guys, it's really not a good time right now. 192 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,040 Yes, it is. 193 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,550 (chuckling) 194 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,550 See, we've got something you might be interested in. 195 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,050 We were working on our astronomy project for school 196 00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:51,050 and we were taking some pictures of the sky 197 00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:55,560 and, well, did you know we saw a full moon last night? 198 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,060 Yeah. 199 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,060 Two of them. 200 00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,560 (snickering) 201 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,570 Oh, my God. 202 00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:05,070 It's pictures of us taking our hot tub nude. 203 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,570 And us barbecuing nude. 204 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:09,070 And me cleaning the rain gutters nude. 205 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,570 I don't remember that. 206 00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:13,580 You were in the kitchen cleaning the oven nude. 207 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,080 Okay, boys, we are going to tear these up 208 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,080 and we're going to call your parents. 209 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,580 Okay, but I've scanned those pictures onto my computer. 210 00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:22,590 One push of a button 211 00:08:22,590 --> 00:08:26,090 and you'll be cruising buck-naked down the Internet. 212 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,090 (snickering) 213 00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,090 Unless... 214 00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:31,590 (snickering) 215 00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:32,600 Unless... 216 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,600 (imitating snickering) 217 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,600 What? 218 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,100 We want to invite our friends over 219 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,100 and use your house for a party. 220 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,110 A make-out party. 221 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,110 Uh-huh. Well, I'll tell you what. 222 00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:47,110 If you think we are going to be blackmailed 223 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,610 by a couple of snot-nose 224 00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,610 little Peeping Toms, you're crazy. 225 00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,120 That's right. You're messing with adults here, 226 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,620 adults that are a lot smarter than you. 227 00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:57,120 Hey, there's someone looking in your window. 228 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:00,620 (snickering) 229 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:01,620 Thank you. 230 00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,640 "Don't worry, Casey. 231 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,640 "He spends all of his time with Elise. 232 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,640 He'll never even be there." 233 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,140 You know what really helps 234 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:22,140 in a situation like this, Casey? Sarcasm. 235 00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:24,150 Whoa-ho-ho. 236 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,150 Oh, guys. 237 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:28,650 Don't take this the wrong way, but... 238 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:31,650 you got a nasty stink on you. 239 00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:32,660 Oh, great. 240 00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,160 Now it's on our clothes. 241 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,660 Roy, if you must know, it's garlic. 242 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,660 Oh...! 243 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,160 Antonio likes to cook when he's depressed. 244 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,660 You know, it's not so much 245 00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,170 the cooking that bothers me. 246 00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:45,670 It's not even that he lays around all day 247 00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:47,170 in those ratty pajamas 248 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,670 moaning and wailing and sobbing... 249 00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:51,670 And rocking and whimpering and blubbering. 250 00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:54,680 It's not even the thumb sucking or... 251 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,680 the drooling 252 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,680 or the self-mutilation. 253 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,180 It's the singing. 254 00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:05,690 Oh, that same stupid song, over and over again. 255 00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:07,190 Their song. 256 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,690 "Cherish." 257 00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:13,200 Oh, I like that song. 258 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,700 Cherish is the word 259 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:18,200 I use to describe... 260 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,700 All the feelings that I have 261 00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,210 Hiding here for you 262 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,210 Inside. 263 00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:25,210 Hey. 264 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,210 That sounded good. 265 00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:29,210 Yeah, we should sing a duet down at the V.A. hall 266 00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:30,210 on karaoke night. 267 00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,710 That's a great idea. 268 00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:32,720 Yeah. 269 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,720 Just what those veterans need... 270 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,720 more pain in their lives. 271 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,720 BRIAN: Ahh! 272 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,720 Well, look who's here. 273 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,230 You got out of your jammies, buddy. 274 00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,230 Well... 275 00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:46,230 you know, you... 276 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,730 you got to make an effort. 277 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,230 (sobbing) 278 00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,730 Oh, well, good for you. 279 00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:53,240 Glad to see you're back on your feet. 280 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,240 Okay. Okay. 281 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,740 That's enough self-pity. 282 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,240 (snorting) 283 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,740 I'm going to make it up to you. 284 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,250 I'm cooking dinner. 285 00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,250 Um, actually, Antonio, I can't 286 00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,250 because I've got a date tonight. 287 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,250 Uh... 288 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,750 Really? I got a date, too. 289 00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:10,750 Huh. 290 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:11,750 Oh. I see. 291 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,260 You both have dates. 292 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,260 Okay, so we're five for dinner. 293 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,760 Uh, look, Antonio. 294 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,760 Could I just explain this to you? 295 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:24,270 I haven't had a date in a really long time-- 296 00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:25,770 in a really... 297 00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,270 really long time. 298 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,270 So... tonight... 299 00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:34,780 please, I beg you, stay quietly in your room. 300 00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,780 Even if you hear me scream... 301 00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,780 ...don't come out. 302 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:49,290 You have got such a cute place, Brian. 303 00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,790 Ahh, it's a lot cuter since you got here. 304 00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,800 If you didn't have such a great smile, 305 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,300 that would be really cornball. 306 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,800 You know, Rhonda, if everything goes well, 307 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,300 we'll have a great story to tell our grandkids. 308 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,300 "When I first laid eyes on your grandma, 309 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,310 "she was trying to stuff a coffee cake 310 00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,310 into her purse without paying for it." 311 00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:06,810 Will you stop? 312 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,810 I just bent down to pick up my keys. 313 00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:10,310 I was going to pay for it. 314 00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,810 Sure. Sure. (doorbell chimes) 315 00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:14,820 (shrieking): That's for me! 316 00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,320 (clearing throat) 317 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,820 Hi, Tom. I thought I heard the bell. 318 00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:20,820 Won't you come in? 319 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,830 Thank you, Casey. 320 00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:25,330 Um, this is my roommate Brian 321 00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:26,330 and his date Rhonda. 322 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,830 Hi, how are you? Hey. 323 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:28,830 Nice to meet you. Hi. 324 00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,830 I brought a little housewarming gift. 325 00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,340 Oh, that's so sweet. 326 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:34,840 Would you guys like to join us for a drink? 327 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:35,840 Uh, sure. 328 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,840 Okay. Brian, 329 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,340 would you please do the honors? 330 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,840 I got to go finish getting ready. 331 00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,850 I don't think you could look any prettier. 332 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,350 Hold that thought. 333 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,350 I'll be right back. 334 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,850 Uh, well, uh, I'll go crack this baby open. 335 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:52,360 Rhonda, why don't you tell Tom the story of how we met, huh? 336 00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:53,860 It's really pretty funny. 337 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,860 I've never done this before 338 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,360 but I was about to steal this coffee cake 339 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,860 and I was bending over... 340 00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:01,360 Sorry, I... 341 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,870 I didn't think there was anyone still here. 342 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:04,870 Hi, there. 343 00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:06,870 You must be Casey's other roommate. 344 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,870 No, no, no, no, I don't exist. 345 00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:09,870 I'm not here. 346 00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:11,870 Just came to get the TV Guide. 347 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:14,380 There's a good movie on tonight-- 348 00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:16,880 Shattered, Fatal, Broken Promises. 349 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,380 Oh, here it is. 350 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,880 Hey, I've got to get this one. 351 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,890 Look. "Classic shows we all cherish." 352 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,890 (voice breaking): Cherish. 353 00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:31,390 Something wrong? 354 00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,900 (falsetto): No. 355 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:34,900 No. 356 00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:35,900 Are you sure? 357 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:38,400 Would you like to talk about it? 358 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,400 Can't. 359 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,900 Well, it's okay. 360 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,410 You don't really have to talk about it. 361 00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,410 My girlfriend dumped me! 362 00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,410 (sobbing) 363 00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:48,910 Oh, no. You poor man. 364 00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,910 Hey... 365 00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:52,920 Hey, we've all been there. 366 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,420 In fact, it just happened to me three months ago, 367 00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,920 right... out of the blue. 368 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,420 You have to give yourself time. 369 00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,420 Yeah, I'm still not over my old girlfriend. 370 00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,930 We went out for six years. 371 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,930 I try dating other women, 372 00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:09,430 but it-it's just pointless. 373 00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:10,930 Oh, what's the use? 374 00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:11,930 I'm not ready. 375 00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:13,940 I'm just not ready. 376 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,940 Okay, Tom, I'm ready. 377 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,940 I can't. 378 00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,440 It's just... 379 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,440 too soon. 380 00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:25,950 I'm-I'm sorry, Casey. 381 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:26,950 Wait, where are you going? 382 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,950 What about our date? 383 00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,950 (growling): What did you say to him?! 384 00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:34,460 Okay, here we go, everybo... 385 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,460 Antonio. 386 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,960 What the hell are you doing out? 387 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,460 Don't talk to him that way. 388 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,470 Can't you see, he's hurting. 389 00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:45,970 It's okay. I'm used to it. 390 00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,470 But you're supposed to stay in your room. 391 00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,970 How did you move that bookcase? 392 00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,480 I don't believe this. 393 00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,480 You barricaded him in his room? 394 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,480 Yeah, well, I've got just cause. 395 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,980 He stinks up the joint, he whines all the time 396 00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:00,980 and he's a huge pain in the ass. 397 00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,490 Come on, Rhonda, let's get out of here, okay? 398 00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:05,490 I'm not going anywhere with you, 399 00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:07,490 you insensitive creep. 400 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,490 Are you going to be okay? 401 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,490 Call me in a day or two. 402 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,500 Wait. Wait, Rhonda. 403 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,000 Rhonda, please. 404 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,500 Uhh... Rhonda, Rhonda, wait. 405 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,500 What just happened here? 406 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,000 I'll tell you what happened. 407 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,510 I said, "Get a dead bolt." 408 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,510 You said, "He'll never be able to get past that bookcase." 409 00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,010 That's what happened. 410 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,010 Hey. Hey, listen, uh... 411 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,510 I'm sorry about your evening. 412 00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:31,510 Yeah, right. Okay. 413 00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:33,520 Come on, Casey, let's go. 414 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,020 No, listen. Listen, um... 415 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:38,520 if you feel that I'm to blame for this, 416 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,020 maybe I should be the one to go. 417 00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:47,530 No, really. 418 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:52,530 Maybe I should just pack up my things and move. 419 00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,540 Seriously. 420 00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,540 Maybe I should just clear out of here 421 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,540 and look for someplace else to live. 422 00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:08,550 Fine, you've said enough. I'm out of here. 423 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,060 Roy, have you seen Antonio? 424 00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,560 He took off last night 425 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,570 and we haven't heard from him since. 426 00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:25,070 Last night, huh? 427 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:29,070 Do you know there was some pounding on my door. 428 00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,570 And some crying, and some moaning, 429 00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:36,080 and I heard a voice begging, "Please, please, let me in. 430 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,580 "I'm desperate. 431 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,580 I have no where to go." 432 00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,580 Hmm. I figured it was the wind. 433 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,590 I went back to sleep. 434 00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:46,090 Hi, Brian. 435 00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:47,090 Hi, Casey. 436 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,090 Antonio! 437 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:50,590 We are so sorry. 438 00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:51,590 Ah, please. 439 00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,100 I should be thanking you. 440 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,600 Thanking us? 441 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,100 After I left last night, I drove around for awhile 442 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,100 and I ended up at an all-night diner 443 00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,600 and who should I run into? 444 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,600 Elise. 445 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,610 We talked for hours, 446 00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:04,610 then we went back to her place. 447 00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:07,610 If you two hadn't been so mean to me 448 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,110 and kicked me out, 449 00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:12,620 Elise and I never would have gotten back together. 450 00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:13,620 So, thank you. 451 00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:15,120 Listen, you don't have to thank us. 452 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,120 We only want what's best for you. 453 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,620 Oh, yeah-- just one more thing. 454 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:23,630 Elise and I have decided to move in together 455 00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:26,130 so you'll have to find another roommate. 456 00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:29,130 Oh, and by the way-- the microwave? Keep it. 457 00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:32,640 Cherish is the word I use to describe... 458 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,140 Bye-bye. 459 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,140 Bye-bye. 460 00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,640 I give up. 461 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,150 We've been interviewing people for what-- 462 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,150 three days? 463 00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,650 We are never going to find a roommate in time. 464 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,150 Face it. This is hopeless. 465 00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,150 (Brian groaning, doorbell rings) 466 00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:52,150 Ahh! Break over. 467 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:53,160 Let the sideshow continue. 468 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,160 Casey, who's next? 469 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,660 (imitating Robin Leach): Is it Gorgo, the dog-faced boy? 470 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:02,160 (sighing) 471 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,170 Hi. I'm here about the room. 472 00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:06,170 Hi. Well, come on in. 473 00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,670 I'm Casey. 474 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,670 This is Brian. 475 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:09,670 Matthew Evans. 476 00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:11,170 Wow. This place is great. 477 00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:12,680 BRIAN: Thanks, uh, listen. 478 00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:14,180 Just a few questions. 479 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,680 Are you currently employed, can you give us references 480 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,180 and do you have a steady girlfriend 481 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,680 where you can spend all your time? 482 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,180 (chuckling): Well, okay. 483 00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:22,690 Uh, I have a steady job, 484 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,190 I can send you references, and right now 485 00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,190 I'm between girlfriends. 486 00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,690 When can you move in? 487 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,190 Uh, as soon as possible. 488 00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,190 I'm staying at this awful motel 489 00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:34,200 down at the wharf-- the Just Washed Inn. 490 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,700 Oh, no. That place is horrible. 491 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,200 Oh, please. 492 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,700 That's why I'm willing to pay whatever you want 493 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,700 to get out of that place. 494 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,200 When can you move in? 495 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,210 (doorbell rings) 496 00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:44,710 Uh, excuse me. 497 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,210 Uh! 498 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,210 Hi, Brian, I just came to pick up a few things. 499 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,720 Oh, sorry. I didn't know you had company. 500 00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:53,720 No, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine. 501 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:54,720 Antonio, 502 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,220 this is Matt Evans. 503 00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:57,720 He's here about renting the room. 504 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,220 Oh. Oh, well, it's a great room. 505 00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,220 I'm sure you'll love it. 506 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,220 Excuse me. 507 00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:03,730 So, Matt, how about a tour, huh? 508 00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,230 You know, I think I know that guy. 509 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,230 Yeah, he's staying at the Just Washed Inn. 510 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,730 Who, Antonio? No, no, no. 511 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,730 He lives with his girlfriend. 512 00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:12,730 I-I'm sure of it. 513 00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:14,740 He's across the hall from me. 514 00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:19,240 Yeah. All night long, I hear this wailing and weeping. 515 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,750 And, oh, the cooking smells-- my God. 516 00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:25,750 Sometimes my eyes literally water. 517 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,250 Brian, do you know what this means? 518 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,750 Antonio made that whole story up. 519 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:29,750 He's not back with Elise. 520 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,250 No, no. No, no, no, no. He didn't make anything up. 521 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,260 He's living with Elise. 522 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,760 They're happy. They're solid. 523 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,260 Those two kids are going to make it. 524 00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,760 He's obviously confusing him with someone else. 525 00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,760 And this stupid song he keeps singing 526 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,270 over and over again... 527 00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:44,770 "Cherish." 528 00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:47,770 Hey, Matt, why don't you take a look at the bedroom. 529 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,270 Yeah, sure. Right around there. 530 00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:52,780 By the way, I've got season tickets to the Celtics, 531 00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:54,780 so anytime you guys want to go, let me know. 532 00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:56,780 (inhaling deeply) 533 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,780 Oh, I like him, Casey. 534 00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,780 I like him so much. 535 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,290 Yeah, well, so do I, but we can't let Antonio 536 00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:05,290 go back to the Just Washed Inn. 537 00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:08,290 I guess that's everything, so I got to be going. 538 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,790 See you. 539 00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:11,790 No, Antonio, um, look, um, 540 00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:14,800 we were wondering if you could maybe 541 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,800 move back and live here with us again. 542 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800 What? 543 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,300 Uh, no, I'm sorry. 544 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,810 Elise and I are doing very well. 545 00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:24,810 Thank you. 546 00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:26,810 Well, that's that, then. So long. 547 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,310 No, uh, please, Antonio. 548 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,810 I mean, um... 549 00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:32,810 I know that we don't deserve it, 550 00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:35,820 but you'd be doing us a huge favor. 551 00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:39,820 We just can't find anyone suitable to live with us. 552 00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:43,330 Do you guys mind if I paid you six months rent in advance? 553 00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:45,330 (whimpering) 554 00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:49,330 Um, Matt... Matt, um, I really don't think 555 00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,330 this is going to work out after all. 556 00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:53,840 But, what? I thought that... 557 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:54,840 Please. 558 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,340 Just go. 559 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,840 Could I possibly change your mind 560 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,340 if I paid you an extra 100 bucks a month? 561 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:02,340 Oh... 562 00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:03,350 (whimpering) 563 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,350 I'm sorry, Matt. 564 00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:12,850 I see what you mean. 565 00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:15,360 Lot of losers out there. 566 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,360 (sobbing) 567 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,860 Hey, hey, it's okay, bro. 568 00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:22,360 Of course I'll stay. Of course. 569 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,370 You know, I... 570 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,370 tell you the truth, 571 00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:28,870 I think I can do better than Elise. 572 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,370 I've said it before, and I'll say it again, 573 00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:31,870 women come and go, 574 00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:35,380 but friends are the things we must always cherish. 575 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:39,880 Cherish is the word I use to describe... 576 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,380 Come on, Casey. 577 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,390 All the feelings that I have 578 00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:46,390 Hiding here for you inside 579 00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:50,390 ALL: I don't know how many times I wish that I could hold you... 580 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:58,400 Hey, look. There's a new Nantucket website. 581 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,400 Pull it up. 582 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,400 Let's see what we got. 583 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,410 Look. Oh, look at that. 584 00:22:05,410 --> 00:22:07,910 There... There are nude people on here. 585 00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:12,910 Oh, my God. It's... 586 00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:15,420 (gasps) 587 00:22:15,420 --> 00:22:19,920 Well, them sure are some clean rain gutters.